Some men just like to make money and don’t care how their Beloved spends it. They will put the deed to the house solely in her name. They will see that She is completely provided for, confident that he can easily make his way in the world, without fear of much.
Conversely, some women excel at generating revenue, and still want to dictate how it’s spent. You see, there are as many scenarios as there are couples, because we each have a unique story of where & how we grew up. Our fantasies today are often the direct result of early memories.
Negotiating terms for any contract or enduring relationship becomes easier if we are psychologically and emotionally willing to listen to our partner’s requests, and try to understand their motives, even if they are not able to articulate their insecurities which prompt them.
I work with many couples who find it so difficult to do this. We must walk in their shoes for a mile and then we will recognize why they want what they want. The same is true if our partner finds our desires untenable. How could we want anything else?
Once we slow down enough and cultivate some compassion, we often can readily imagine a win-win scenario. This is what so many couples need; so take some time to slow down and be willing to feel what motivates your partner. Don’t you know their life story well enough to do so?