You can have a million people in your social networks and still be lonely. You can be married for decades and still feel the pain of emotional distance between you and your beloved. Why is this? Is it necessarily part of the human condition? Perhaps.
Loneliness is the feeling of being alone and without anyone who truly cares about how we feel or what we deal with in our lives. But so much of loneliness is an illusion. There are 8 billion or more people on this planet. What stops YOU from connecting with like-minded souls?
If you are not connecting very well with your partner, you will do well to first examine what you are contributing to the situation. Too often we project onto others what we first must recognize within ourselves. By accepting such repelling aspects within ourselves, helps us have more compassion for such traits in others.
Emotional intimacy is such a huge issue for most people, regardless of their relationship status. The courage required to have emotionally intimate relationships can be quite intimidating, if we are going to be truly close with someone. Often, the closer we are will someone, the more likely we are to trigger their defenses, or ours.
Then, we pull away from our beloved and feel the fight or flight response. But that is too primitive a choice to be laudable. We must cultivate the emotional strength of character to demonstrate the courage required in close, loving relationships. Kink is fun, but emotional intimacy blows it out of the deep waters of the heart. And we are all driven by the emotions in our hearts. We just need to do “feng shui our hearts”.